Modern celebs known to have practiced societal

nudism include neurotic chick singers
PJ Harvey
good-timey musician
“Cheeseburger in
, who maintains that his entire family
practices nudism…superdupersupermodels
Christie Brinkley
table performers
Lynn Redgrave
…and Muslim-slurring animal-rights lunatic
Brigitte Bardot
To the clothed world, the nudists might as well have been Martians.
Fkk colonies faced frequent police harassment, public ridicule, and
evangelical outrage. Even so, pasty white mammaries and wrinkly white
Dick continued to flap defiantly under the open American sun. In the
1950s, courts determined once and for all that the notion of a cloistered nudist
Community harboring accepting adults was perfectly legal.
Utopian naturist-colony culture became diluted (purists would say polluted)
by an unwashed inflow of free-lovin’, hard- ‘, mass-orgy-havin’ hip-
pie culture in the 1960s. Public nudism became increasingly sexualized,
more of a vulgar mass movement than an underground people religion. It
devolved from its eminent Edenic origins, becoming a haven for seedy
swingers and pedophilic predators and thrill-seekers of all stripes. The cul-
ture of nude beaches and love ins and Woodstock and smokin’ hash oil
naked in redwood hot tubs invaded the immaculate culture of astringent nude
diets and wholesome naked family living and 500 required daily nude
Jumping Jacks. Basically, the hippies killed the first wave of
American naturist colonies.
The bare establishment (yes…sigh…there actually is such a matter) has strug-
gled to resurrect American nudism from the sex ‘n’ drugs picture that’s
tainted it since the ’60s. High-financed, closely regimented fkk “resorts”
catering to upscale couples and families make up the modern Satisfactory
Face of American Nudism. Except for the clothes policy, many of these neo-
Fkk resorts are indistinguishable from high tech health clubs. They offer
Naked swimming, nude pingpong, nude water skiing,
Bare badminton, bare dining, and communal bare
Macarena lessons. Nudist-favorable travel agencies offer
Naked cruises and nude travel packages.
The American Association for Nude Recreation,
currently the nation’s largest fkk club,
claims 50,000 members. Its dull-as-shit
website strives its best to portray a safe/anti

septic/desexualized/family-oriented strain
of nudism, with clear reasons. Modern
Nudism equals Big Bucks, and any intima

tions of bare meth-conduit circles or nude
mud wrestling with kids would just
Wounded company. Entrepreneurial nudism’s
mouthpieces offer stats claiming
that the ranks of the American
Naked are growing by 20 percent
yearly. They mention surveys stating that
Americans are growing more
tolerant of nudism.
of using computers to go back to nature, nudists have taken to
the World Wide Web in order to proselytize their lifestyle and network
with likewise naked individuals.
From what I can gather after reading a few dozen of their sites, nudists
consider the “textile world” alien to their sanctified world. They view it as a
corrupted, predatory, automated, sex-hating, fascistic mainstream
filled with meanies, a world whose violence and neuroses and fast food
wrappers and fall from grace are all rooted in that its members
ARE NOT NAKED IN PUBLIC ALL THE TIME. Nudists use the word “cloth”
as both a noun (
he’s a devoted fabric
) and an adjective (
it’s a textile beach
and it’s generally used with some level of pejorative malice. Nudists refer to the
textile world’s pathological tendency to wear clothing as “clothes-obsessive-
ness” and “clothing-compulsiveness.”
Nowadays, many of the Socially Naked often shun the words “nudist”
and “colony” altogether. Instead, they label themselves “naturists” who
congregate with “traveling clubs” or at “resorts.” It’s a conscious distancing

measure from any sleazy/creepy/cultish organizations people might attach
to both the terms “naturist” and “colony.” Just like San Franciscans hate it
when outsiders call their city “Frisco,” modern self-described “naturists”
frown upon usage of the term “fkk colony,” because it makes the inhabi-
tants sound like mindless ants.
That’s actually too bad, and I am sorry to have to hurt their feelings, but I
Only can not use the word “naturist” seriously. I don’t enjoy the way it rattles
Away my keyboard or rolls off my tongue. It’s pretentious and not nearly as
sexually suggestive, in an erotically pre-porno manner, as the delectable term
“Fkk.” I would rather use “nudist,” and I Will call those freaky nude bastards
nudists whether they like it or not, fuck them
their mindless colonies.
Nudists defend their lifestyle with the zealotry of the folk religionists